In the Dark Cloud of Cancer there is a Light………

And the Lord was going before them in a pillar of cloud by day to lead them on the way, and in a pillar of fire by night to give them light, that they might travel by day and by night.  He did not take away the pillar of cloud by day, nor the pillar of fire by night, from before the people.  Exodus 13:21-22

There it is again….. a cloud and God presence.  After my cancer diagnosis (see previous posts) I felt like a big dark ugly unescapable cloud had descended over my life.  I had to find out what our instruction manual, the Bible (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) had to say about clouds.  Here is another example of God coming within the clouds.  For the children of Israel, a cloud had come as they were finally led out of slavery.   They were free.  Behind them: Egypt;  before them: the promised land.  Finally!  After all those years of cruel slavery they were free.  Somehow that exhilaration was waning.   Now they were in the wilderness. Maybe it wasn’t that bad back in Egypt.  And why in the world were they not taking the direct route to Palestine along the Mediterranean coast….that route along the top of the map?  It would make sense, right? ETA: 3 weeks. No, for some reason they were in the wilderness getting nowhere fast.

I kinda get their questions as I’ve struggled with the wilderness of cancer.  “Why do I hafta take this road?  Please, cant I just go back?  Let’s just take the quick miraculous healing route and get this over with so I can get back to my life!  Please, God, just take it all away!!!”  But for some reason God has allowed this route for His good purposes.  I do know that God still miraculously heals.  He also uses our doctors and treatments to bring healing.  My good friend, Toni, was a stage 4 with Lymphoma,  and with treatment, she is alive and well and cancer free today.  But  either way,  God comes to us in this wilderness as a cloud to lead us by day and a divine nightlight to comfort us in the dark as we walk the road of cancer.

For this tiny nation of Israel, God knew the quick route was heavily guarded by Egyptian troops. He knew they were not ready for war.  And there was this special mountain in the wilderness where He looked forward to meeting and actually speaking with His dear people.  So, Moses and company found themselves in the wilderness.  But they were not alone.  God not only protected them and guided them by day in the pillar of a cloud, but tenderly and lovingly soothed their hearts by night with the soft glow of His presence.  The Israeli parents would tuck their little ones into bed each night with a divine nightlight to comfort and reassure that God was near.  I can just imagine those little tikes taking peeks out the tent flap to make sure God was still there in that pillar of light in the dark night sky.  And YOU and your loved ones are not alone in this time of wilderness.

Just as God was near His children in a pillar of cloud by day and in a pillar of fire by night, God is with you.  He comes near us in the wilderness of cancer……by night, He is our divine nightlight.  It seems with chemo there are many sleepless nights of feeling rotten.  If cancer progresses there can be pain.  At those times, choose to find comfort in this ever present God who loves you, knows you, and joins you in your suffering.  One things that defines our Christian faith:  A God who isn’t aloof and fabulous, but a God who does join us in our suffering.  He loved us so much He left His perfect home in heaven to become one of us.  The great Creator God got dirty, and skinned His knee, and got colds, and sweat, and went to weddings, and cried at a grave.  He suffered.  If you ever wonder if God loves you and cares for you, look at the cross.  That was for you.  He knows suffering.

Perhaps God is guiding you through cancer to that special “mountain” where you can meet with Him and be near Him and be changed forever.  I found as I went through chemo that my spirit was extra tender with receptors that just wanted God.  I would picture myself in His big lap being held by Him.  Let your ‘receptors’ find God in this time and in this place.  His lap is big and there is room for you.  Please come.  He left the light on.